The deadly dangers of automatic transmission

In America, most cars involved in accidents and deliberate vehicular attacks have automatic transmissions. That’s no surprise, considering that most cars on the road have them. Almost everywhere else in the world, the auto transmission violence isn’t so prevalent. If we eliminate cars with automatic transmissions, the number of deaths attributable to them would drop. Sound logic, right? If that’s not enough for you, remember that the military HMMV uses automatic transmission too. Nobody needs a military-grade vehicle for civilian world!

In the enlightened Europe, much superior manual transmission are in use and hardly anything ever goes wrong with those. Since most heavy, powerful trucks use manual transmissions — as do those weapons of war, Jeeps — nobody should have manual transmissions either. The exception would be made for pre-synchromesh manual transmissions — they require double-clutching and would keep the drivers’ attention off the road, so they couldn’t possibly run anybody over.

None of this violates the rights of car owners. They can drive proper civilian cars like Ford Model A and its modern reproductions, or avail themselves of public transportation generously provided by the state using their taxes. Nearly 40 thousand traffic fatalities in 2017 alone demand action. Turn your murderous auto transmission car in now, citizen!

PS: Clutchless manual transmissions exploit loopholes in the law! VW BeetlesΒ and others with that nasty, nasty feature must be destroyed.

 

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5 Responses to The deadly dangers of automatic transmission

  1. Dan MacDonald says:

    Ford Model A’s had a 3 speed trans and manual clutch. Model T’s had a two speed, two pedal trans that was much less prone to violence, unless you count the propensity to run over its owner should the chose to dismount with the engine running. It was an auto-attack car.

  2. Paul Rain says:

    I guess this is meant to be a joke, but it’s true.

    Automatic transmissions enable dangerous drivers like women, and Orientals.

  3. Nohbody says:

    No automatic transmissions would also cut down on illegitimate children.

    After all, as Confucius says, baby conceived in back seat of car with automatic transmission grows up to be shiftless bastard.

    πŸ˜‰

  4. Paul Rogers says:

    I envision a wild self-righteous crowd chanting: “Three on the tree for me”.

  5. Simon Maguire says:

    Don’t forget that some Assault Weapons have stocks that move back and forwards just like the seats in Assault Cars.

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