Let me play you the song of my people

Lauren is a professional classical musician. She plays a two hundred year old fiddle. She is very good. While she’s a trained martial artist, she’d rather not fight with bare hands. An injury would damage or end her career. Fortunately, evil dwems invented labor saving devices like the lead broadcaster. If necessary, she can play the song of her people with the volume turned up to 11.


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14 Responses to Let me play you the song of my people

  1. Paul Koning says:


  2. Oleg Volk says:

    Dead white European males. I am pretty sure they invented shotguns.

    • Walt Boyes says:

      No, Oleg. DYCS invented the shotgun. (That’s Dead Yellow Chinese Soldiers).

      • Oleg Volk says:

        Are you sure? I thought Chinese used gunpowder for rockets and other non-gun uses only.

        • Y. says:

          It’s not clear.

          It seems they developed similar weapons to Europeans slightly earlier.. 50 years perhaps. They started out with devices that sent flame on enemy, then flame and arrows ..some shrapnel from a bamboo tube and after that they probably figured out metal would work better..

          Their gunpowder gradually improved from the 9th century version, until by 12th century they had a gunpowder store explosion that killed a hundred people and sent structural beams flying for 3 kilometers..

          Then, due to lack of competition they fell behind in gun development.

          Hard to find good info on it. Wikipedia has contradictory information.

  3. Adam says:

    Well first off your latest model is what a baseball scout would call a “5 tool player.” Was curious as to the mag capacity of that pump? The CZ website doesn’t specify. Thinking 6+1??

  4. Old NFO says:

    Good for her, and no don’t damage the hands PLEASE! Good musicians we need!

  5. Lyle says:

    There are those who would take offense at hearing their two hundred year-old fiddle referred to as a fiddle, but to be kind; I declare them over-sensitive. If the king in the ancient rhyme called for his fiddlers three, then we can take it as long established that a fiddle is a fiddle, but violin is probably a more specific term, differentiating that instrument from a viola and the other viols.

    The photo needs a caption I think.
    “Now let’s go through this again; you said, ‘Hand over the keys, or else’. Or else, what? Or did I misunderstand?”

  6. "lee n. field" says:

    I think hearing damage would affect her career too.

    • Oleg Volk says:

      I agree, so a suppressed firearm would be much preferred. However, in most cases a credible threat of armed resistance is enough to rebuff a criminal trespass without a shot fired. Her martial arts stance is less likely to intimidate a larger, stronger intruder.

      • Scott says:

        Not to mention the very distinctive sound of racking a shotgun pump.

        As I like to call that, “my homeowner’s insurance agent clearing his throat.”

        • Ish says:

          Yet another reason that the re-legalization of sound suppressors needs to be next on the collective “To Do” list of the gun rights community.

    • Dave says:

      Hearing damage might affect her career; being dead would definitely affect that, and everything else.

      Conclusion? Empty that magazine!

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